Wow, last week was a weird week. I was a wreck Tuesday night after coming home from the basketball games. Meredith had called me at like 5 o'clock that day and told me that Heath Ledger had died. I seriously think my heart stopped beating for like 10 seconds. I couldn't breathe. It was so unexpected and random. And I had to hold in my emotions about it until I got home from the basketball games at like 10 o'clock. And I looked up stuff on the internet and just started sobbing. I didn't know that a celebrity's death would have effected me so much, but it did. What really got me was the picture of his body being taken out on a gourney. It was too much for me. It's still hard to believe that he's gone, and I had just watched A Knight's Tale the Saturday before his death. It's so weird.
But I had Spirit Week to distract me from that. Seniors came in 3rd which I find hilarious since we actually tried this year. Our theme was Musicals and I dressed up like Sweeney Todd. Everyone said that my outfit was the best outfit of the day, hands down. That felt good since I actually worked pretty hard on it lol. The shoes just killed my feet though.
I saw Bye, Bye Birdie on Friday. It was really good. Kaitlin was cracking me up in it hahha. I went with Katie Franklin and she always takes forever afterwards because she has to say "hey" to everyone haha. But I got to talk to some people I wanted to and some I didn't. This 8th grader, Kevin, is soooooooo creepy. He hugged me... TWICE. It still haunts me to this very minute. Blegh. :(
I saw Juno on Saturday FINALLY! Michael Cera was so cute in it! I liked it a lot. :)
OH! I have a serious chance of going to Bonnaroo now! My brother and Eric want me to go with them and my mom doesn't seem too opposed at all! My dad is a different story which is weird because he used to be the easy one to convince. But now that my mom is all into the Allman Brothers, she's gotten cooler about that stuff lol. I'm listening to Bonnaroo Radio right now as I type. I really hope I can go. And I hope Led Zeppelin shows up. And Bela Fleck and the Flecktones. And The Flaming Lips. And Kings of Leon. And Flight of the Conchords and Demetri Martin lol. Okay, that's enough...
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Chipping Away
Man, things seem to keep chipping away at me. Soon there's gonna be nothing left of me. My friendships with people are slowly slipping out of my hands. I'm trying all that I can to stop that from happening, but it's all out of my control. Yet, on the flipside, I'm making new friends, so that's keeping me up above the surface.
Mock Trial is just taking up chunks of my life. It's not fun, nor is it interesting. Meredith isn't on my side and so I can't talk to her. It's boring being a witness. All you do is sit there and have people tell you what to say and how to respond to things. I don't even have to think for myself! How wonderful! My art skills are getting better as I doodle away on the pages of my court statement. So that's a plus. I can't wait for this to be over! Ugh.
We started playing the music for Fiddler On The Roof and it's very discouraging. Granted, it's only the second day of rehearsal, it just sounds horrible. And we didn't get much better during the practice. There's a LONG road ahead for this too. So it's only just begun.
My Christ & Culture teacher is a moron and tries to force his opinions on everyone he teaches. It's a pain in the ass and it bothers me. I started some friction today though. We're talking about the War on Terror and someone asked how he knew we were winning. And he said because we are a "world police" and we took out thousands of terrorists and there have been no attacks on the US since 9/11 and blah blah blah. And I asked him, "So when were the last bombings on London?" and he said, "Oh, that was in '07... very recently." To which I replied, "So we let some terrorists slip by... oh okay." That shut him up. Such a dumb man.
The only thing keeping me going right now is this man.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Nicknames
For some reason, I've been thinking a lot about nicknames and how they can mean different things. I guess because I'm called a constant stream of nicknames, mostly in varying forms of my last name. But there are differing connotations for nicknames, I think. You can be called a nickname and you are being accepted as a friend. Another use of a nickname is to demean someone and hurt their feelings. Or a nickname can mean that there is no chance for a relationship with a guy/girl. The last one is a little different from the other two noticeably.
But first, being accepted. It always feels good to be accepted by a group of people. Nicknames can make a friendship more inclusive. Or it can mean they don't remember your name, but let's go with inclusive. For example, my friends call me "Tank" or "Tankdawg" or "Tankie" depending on the person. Having a nice nickname just feels good. Feeling accepted is a big part of life. Nobody wants to float through life nicknameless and unaccepted. That's just not natural. It's not natural for people to be alone. Otherwise there wouldn't be like 6 billion of us on the earth.
Having a bad, mean nickname is a different story though. Now, I'm sure everyone has been called names by an older sibling or bullies at school. Does not feel good at all. Maybe it's butthead, moron, retard, wide-load [for the heavier ones out there], but regardless of what name it is, it hurts. It can tear you down inside and out. You'll dwell on the negative thing portrayed in the nickname and it can truly hurt. I know. For years on end, my brother continuously called me Ugly and it used to not bother me. Up until middle school I never let it bother me, but then the awkward years hit me. And I believed him every time he said that. I never went out with friends or anywhere. I hated going to school because I thought that everyone was making fun of me like my brother was. But I eventually got over that hump in my life and now I couldn't care less what my brother says about me because I know he's just trying to be an ass... and succeeding. So, I guess what I'm saying is, try not to listen to everything people say too closely? I don't know.
But when a nickname comes from someone you like, that's a killer. Because you know there will NEVER be a relationship in the future. When you get a nickname from a guy/girl you like, it's game over. It's like you are shut into the FRIENDS ONLY vault in their mind. That place sucks, by the way. There's nothing worse than hearing that nickname come out of his/her mouth because you know it's friends from here on to the end of time. You start to hate that nickname haha. I know I did. I just wanted to scream. It's happened on a few occasions and it's just annoying. You wish you could turn back time and have them NOT say it. But I don't know. All I know is it sucks to like a person and they don't like you back. But that's common knowledge I suppose.
This post is kinda lame and cheesy, but I just have been thinking about that a lot. Because I frequently hear all three types of nicknames on a daily basis. And I wish it was only two of them.
But first, being accepted. It always feels good to be accepted by a group of people. Nicknames can make a friendship more inclusive. Or it can mean they don't remember your name, but let's go with inclusive. For example, my friends call me "Tank" or "Tankdawg" or "Tankie" depending on the person. Having a nice nickname just feels good. Feeling accepted is a big part of life. Nobody wants to float through life nicknameless and unaccepted. That's just not natural. It's not natural for people to be alone. Otherwise there wouldn't be like 6 billion of us on the earth.
Having a bad, mean nickname is a different story though. Now, I'm sure everyone has been called names by an older sibling or bullies at school. Does not feel good at all. Maybe it's butthead, moron, retard, wide-load [for the heavier ones out there], but regardless of what name it is, it hurts. It can tear you down inside and out. You'll dwell on the negative thing portrayed in the nickname and it can truly hurt. I know. For years on end, my brother continuously called me Ugly and it used to not bother me. Up until middle school I never let it bother me, but then the awkward years hit me. And I believed him every time he said that. I never went out with friends or anywhere. I hated going to school because I thought that everyone was making fun of me like my brother was. But I eventually got over that hump in my life and now I couldn't care less what my brother says about me because I know he's just trying to be an ass... and succeeding. So, I guess what I'm saying is, try not to listen to everything people say too closely? I don't know.
But when a nickname comes from someone you like, that's a killer. Because you know there will NEVER be a relationship in the future. When you get a nickname from a guy/girl you like, it's game over. It's like you are shut into the FRIENDS ONLY vault in their mind. That place sucks, by the way. There's nothing worse than hearing that nickname come out of his/her mouth because you know it's friends from here on to the end of time. You start to hate that nickname haha. I know I did. I just wanted to scream. It's happened on a few occasions and it's just annoying. You wish you could turn back time and have them NOT say it. But I don't know. All I know is it sucks to like a person and they don't like you back. But that's common knowledge I suppose.
This post is kinda lame and cheesy, but I just have been thinking about that a lot. Because I frequently hear all three types of nicknames on a daily basis. And I wish it was only two of them.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
The Bovie Club!
So, as of Friday night, Meredith, Mrs. Weems, and I started The Bovie Club. We went to see The Kite Runner [more detail about the movie later] and we had all loved the book. When we were in the car leaving, we decided that we should do that more often. We are going to read books and then watch the movies! Yes, it is nerdy, but really awesome. The next one is The Other Boleyn Girl. They've both read it, so Meredith is letting me borrow the book so I can catch up. We are going to do that with Atonement as well. But again, we still need to read it.
Then, tonight, after Monica, Meredith, Mary Grace, and I saw Sweeney Todd [even better the 2nd time!!], I told Meredith I wanted to go to Barnes & Noble. And lo and behold, Mrs. Weems is there grading mid-terms! HA! So we talked with her and it has been decided that we are going to meet in the summer to watch movies that the other people in the group haven't seen. For instance, we're going to show Mrs. Weems Sin City, Meredith will be shown The Shawshank Redemption, and I will be shown Walk The Line. It's going to be GREAT!! Oh yeah, I bought Scar Tissue [Anthony Keidis biography] and Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde. :)
Anyway, about The Kite Runner. It was only us three in the theater at the 10:15 showing. It was awesome though because we could talk as much and as loud as we wanted to. And we did haha. But the movie was amazing. Granted, it did cut out some good parts from the book, but they had to cut it for time. And we wished it had been rated R instead of PG-13 so they could have shown more, but nevertheless it was awesome. There was one point in the film where all three of us were SOBBING. Like uncontrollably. It was a good bonding moment haha. Especially when you are hanging out with your English teacher. It's not new for Meredith because they hang out all the time, but I was a n00b lol. We even went over to Weems' house and watch part of a movie beforehand with her and her good-looking husband, Brant haha.
I was kind of worried tonight, mixing two groups of friends. Meredith is a good friend, but she is in a different group of friends as Mona and MG. Monica and MG are at my lunch table and have been my friends for a while and are usually who I hang out with more. So I was the bridge between them. It's always awkward mixing groups of friends. I don't think I could mix up my youth group friends with my school friends. And even with my school friends. I have my Cross Country buddies, my band buddies, my all-around buddies, my Mock Trial buddies, my theater buddies. Some of those overlap, but for the most part, they are separate. It's just crazy I guess.
I let my cousin borrow my Superbad DVD and my 40 Year Old Virgin DVD. I told her to mail them back when she was done with them lol. Those are my babies!! haha.
A nice bowl of Ramen is calling my name... laterz.
Then, tonight, after Monica, Meredith, Mary Grace, and I saw Sweeney Todd [even better the 2nd time!!], I told Meredith I wanted to go to Barnes & Noble. And lo and behold, Mrs. Weems is there grading mid-terms! HA! So we talked with her and it has been decided that we are going to meet in the summer to watch movies that the other people in the group haven't seen. For instance, we're going to show Mrs. Weems Sin City, Meredith will be shown The Shawshank Redemption, and I will be shown Walk The Line. It's going to be GREAT!! Oh yeah, I bought Scar Tissue [Anthony Keidis biography] and Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde. :)
Anyway, about The Kite Runner. It was only us three in the theater at the 10:15 showing. It was awesome though because we could talk as much and as loud as we wanted to. And we did haha. But the movie was amazing. Granted, it did cut out some good parts from the book, but they had to cut it for time. And we wished it had been rated R instead of PG-13 so they could have shown more, but nevertheless it was awesome. There was one point in the film where all three of us were SOBBING. Like uncontrollably. It was a good bonding moment haha. Especially when you are hanging out with your English teacher. It's not new for Meredith because they hang out all the time, but I was a n00b lol. We even went over to Weems' house and watch part of a movie beforehand with her and her good-looking husband, Brant haha.
I was kind of worried tonight, mixing two groups of friends. Meredith is a good friend, but she is in a different group of friends as Mona and MG. Monica and MG are at my lunch table and have been my friends for a while and are usually who I hang out with more. So I was the bridge between them. It's always awkward mixing groups of friends. I don't think I could mix up my youth group friends with my school friends. And even with my school friends. I have my Cross Country buddies, my band buddies, my all-around buddies, my Mock Trial buddies, my theater buddies. Some of those overlap, but for the most part, they are separate. It's just crazy I guess.
I let my cousin borrow my Superbad DVD and my 40 Year Old Virgin DVD. I told her to mail them back when she was done with them lol. Those are my babies!! haha.
A nice bowl of Ramen is calling my name... laterz.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Whoa
So I've decided to change my major... again haha. This time I know for sure I do NOT want to do law. It's too much reading and critical thinking for my liking. I plan on going into business now and follow that up with music courses. I want to be a music producer. And I need to talk to some people who have done that. My mom has a co-worker whose son just got done with a 6 week internship in London for SONY and he said he would be glad to talk to me about that field. He's only like 20 which is crazy. I asked my parents if I could do this camp at UGA this July called Fusion where you are in a group of about 14 other students and you have a musical group project for like 4 days and, all the while, you get to tour the venues in Athens and meet with different people. I hope the dates don't conflict with my summer plans.
Meredith, Kaitlin, and I were planning on going to Bonnaroo this summer, but I'm afraid I won't have the time or the funds. I'm going on my church mission trip, England, Myrtle Beach, and Athens. I wish there was more time, but there isn't. But I'm inviting Monica to go with me to London. I originally invited Carrie, but I don't know if she'll be able to go. And it might turn out that none of my friends can go! But I hope that's not the case.
I've been back at school for about 3 days now and I already want another break. AP Calculus is just crazy and all my other classes are unusually boring now. In AP Lit, I get really depressed because we're analyzing poems about death and talking about death. It's just a real downer. In band, we're sight-reading a bunch of awful marches. The chemistry room is always about 634 degrees. The only glimmer of good in my day is my 4th period study hall, but in 2 weeks, that's gone and I have to take Christ & Culture. Kill me. Ugh.
I really hate how conservative my school is. I have some friends who are liberal like me, but we are a severe minority. I'm tired of people being close-minded about things and only believing things that their parents tell them to believe. People need to get a backbone and think for themselves. College is going to be a major shift going from a tiny, close-knit school to one of the biggest in Georgia. By the way, I got my UGA ID today. So I have a UGA e-mail account now! Woo! haha. Anyway, I really am excited about all the diversity that's going to be there. Since there is absolutely NO diversity at my private, Christian school.
I saw Sweeney Todd and LOOOVED it. Johnny Depp is a surprisingly good singer! The soundtrack is awesome and I can't stop listening to it. I had Sweeney Todd songs stuck in my head all day yesterday at the 6-hour defensive driving course. [3 months and 5 days until my license is returned to me!!] I'm seeing Juno with Mary Grace on Friday. She's already seen it, but she wants to see it again. I need to see me some Michael Cera, baby! lol. Oh, I also saw Walk Hard and it really wasn't that funny. John C. Reilly has a good voice though and some of the songs were good. Paul Rudd was funny in it as John Lennon and Jack White was good as Elvis.
Man, I watch too many movies...
Meredith, Kaitlin, and I were planning on going to Bonnaroo this summer, but I'm afraid I won't have the time or the funds. I'm going on my church mission trip, England, Myrtle Beach, and Athens. I wish there was more time, but there isn't. But I'm inviting Monica to go with me to London. I originally invited Carrie, but I don't know if she'll be able to go. And it might turn out that none of my friends can go! But I hope that's not the case.
I've been back at school for about 3 days now and I already want another break. AP Calculus is just crazy and all my other classes are unusually boring now. In AP Lit, I get really depressed because we're analyzing poems about death and talking about death. It's just a real downer. In band, we're sight-reading a bunch of awful marches. The chemistry room is always about 634 degrees. The only glimmer of good in my day is my 4th period study hall, but in 2 weeks, that's gone and I have to take Christ & Culture. Kill me. Ugh.
I really hate how conservative my school is. I have some friends who are liberal like me, but we are a severe minority. I'm tired of people being close-minded about things and only believing things that their parents tell them to believe. People need to get a backbone and think for themselves. College is going to be a major shift going from a tiny, close-knit school to one of the biggest in Georgia. By the way, I got my UGA ID today. So I have a UGA e-mail account now! Woo! haha. Anyway, I really am excited about all the diversity that's going to be there. Since there is absolutely NO diversity at my private, Christian school.
I saw Sweeney Todd and LOOOVED it. Johnny Depp is a surprisingly good singer! The soundtrack is awesome and I can't stop listening to it. I had Sweeney Todd songs stuck in my head all day yesterday at the 6-hour defensive driving course. [3 months and 5 days until my license is returned to me!!] I'm seeing Juno with Mary Grace on Friday. She's already seen it, but she wants to see it again. I need to see me some Michael Cera, baby! lol. Oh, I also saw Walk Hard and it really wasn't that funny. John C. Reilly has a good voice though and some of the songs were good. Paul Rudd was funny in it as John Lennon and Jack White was good as Elvis.
Man, I watch too many movies...
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
New Years
Well, 2007 has come and gone. It doesn't feel any different. It never does. It's weird to see the date as 1/1/08 on my phone though. I had a lot of good times in 2007, but also some bad ones. One that sticks out in my mind is Thanksgiving. Grounded for the slightest mistake. But that was the only time I got grounded... I think. I really can't remember that far back. OH! Another horrible thing that happened... getting my license suspended. I'm still feeling the wrath of that. And I will until April 12th. But at least it's 2008 now. Not too much longer.
But more of the good stuff that happened. Tons of concerts. Good concerts too. Okay, maybe not tons, but you know. I saw John Mayer TWICE this past year. Once in January in Jacksonville, FL with my mom. I got to skip school for two days. Even though our seats were REALLY far away, it was still amazing. John Mayer had his long, shaggy hair then. We had binoculars haha. And I could see those curls in his face. ;-) Then, I saw John Mayer again in August. 5th row that time. It was one of the best concerts ever. Ben Folds opened and was amazing. John Mayer played Covered In Rain, which is one of my favorite songs of his. He also played Slow Dancing In A Burning Room acoustically which was sooooo good!
Then in September, I saw Dave Matthews Band and the Allman Brothers at Piedmont Park. ABB was okay; their set was kind of long. David and I were dying from the heat. We started looking around and saw that there were some funky looking people there, so we started saying who was each other's boyfriend/girlfriend. I guess it's only funny when you are dying of thirst and about to have a heat stroke surrounded by 50,000 other people haha. DMB was SO on it that night. You Might Die Trying gave me chills and The Dreaming Tree was kickass. They played Two Step like 3rd and Will and I were losing it haha. It was crazy awesome. I'm so glad they made a DVD/CD of it. :)
2007 marks my Senior year in high school. It marks my last season of Cross Country. I'm going to miss it. Not for the running aspect, but for my friends on the team. The practices were fun. Also, 2007 marks the end of my marching band career. Finally. I've been in band since 5th grade, and I've marched since the 6th. It's about time for it to be over. And of course, during my last year, we get a new, good director and we finally start getting some respect haha. Oh well, that's life I suppose.
But 2008 is a big year. I'll probably go to more concerts [hopefully]. And I'm going to UGA in the fall. Still searching for a roommate, but that'll get figured out soon [again, hopefully]. I can't wait to get my license back though haha. I miss driving so much. I still have about 103 days left and it's killing me. I bet my friends are so tired of hearing me say, "Can I get a ride?" haha.
Anyway, I've been obsessing over Michael Cera for the past few days. I've always loved him, but since I got Superbad for Christmas, I've re-fallen in love with him. He's SO adorable. :) He's my wallpaper. It's a picture of him playing the geetar. I even thought he was cute back in the Arrested Development days. Back in the days of George-Michael Bluth. I want to see Juno really badly, but stupid Macon doesn't show it. Lame. And I still haven't seen Walk Hard or Sweeney Todd. Every time I make plans with someone to go, they always end up breaking them. Grr. This week, I will see one of them! I saw No Country For Old Men the other day on the computer. GREAT movie. Wow, I digress... back to Michael Cera. He's cute, funny, musical, talented, and young. :-P Man, how pathetic am I?
I bet no one reads this haha. And that's not the point of me writing in this, but still... kinda lonely. I guess I could put a link to this on my FaceBook or my AIM thing. But then I'm kinda uncomfortable with putting my thoughts and feelings out there to people I know. Makes me feel vunerable. But I guess that's the price I pay for putting this on the internet haha. BLAH.
By the way, Apocalypse Now is a great effing movie. Watch it now. But not the extended version. 202 minutes. There are scenes in it that were cut out for a reason. But the rest of it is awesome. PCU with Jeremy Piven is good too. But let's be honest, anything with Jeremy Piven is good.
But more of the good stuff that happened. Tons of concerts. Good concerts too. Okay, maybe not tons, but you know. I saw John Mayer TWICE this past year. Once in January in Jacksonville, FL with my mom. I got to skip school for two days. Even though our seats were REALLY far away, it was still amazing. John Mayer had his long, shaggy hair then. We had binoculars haha. And I could see those curls in his face. ;-) Then, I saw John Mayer again in August. 5th row that time. It was one of the best concerts ever. Ben Folds opened and was amazing. John Mayer played Covered In Rain, which is one of my favorite songs of his. He also played Slow Dancing In A Burning Room acoustically which was sooooo good!
Then in September, I saw Dave Matthews Band and the Allman Brothers at Piedmont Park. ABB was okay; their set was kind of long. David and I were dying from the heat. We started looking around and saw that there were some funky looking people there, so we started saying who was each other's boyfriend/girlfriend. I guess it's only funny when you are dying of thirst and about to have a heat stroke surrounded by 50,000 other people haha. DMB was SO on it that night. You Might Die Trying gave me chills and The Dreaming Tree was kickass. They played Two Step like 3rd and Will and I were losing it haha. It was crazy awesome. I'm so glad they made a DVD/CD of it. :)
2007 marks my Senior year in high school. It marks my last season of Cross Country. I'm going to miss it. Not for the running aspect, but for my friends on the team. The practices were fun. Also, 2007 marks the end of my marching band career. Finally. I've been in band since 5th grade, and I've marched since the 6th. It's about time for it to be over. And of course, during my last year, we get a new, good director and we finally start getting some respect haha. Oh well, that's life I suppose.
But 2008 is a big year. I'll probably go to more concerts [hopefully]. And I'm going to UGA in the fall. Still searching for a roommate, but that'll get figured out soon [again, hopefully]. I can't wait to get my license back though haha. I miss driving so much. I still have about 103 days left and it's killing me. I bet my friends are so tired of hearing me say, "Can I get a ride?" haha.
Anyway, I've been obsessing over Michael Cera for the past few days. I've always loved him, but since I got Superbad for Christmas, I've re-fallen in love with him. He's SO adorable. :) He's my wallpaper. It's a picture of him playing the geetar. I even thought he was cute back in the Arrested Development days. Back in the days of George-Michael Bluth. I want to see Juno really badly, but stupid Macon doesn't show it. Lame. And I still haven't seen Walk Hard or Sweeney Todd. Every time I make plans with someone to go, they always end up breaking them. Grr. This week, I will see one of them! I saw No Country For Old Men the other day on the computer. GREAT movie. Wow, I digress... back to Michael Cera. He's cute, funny, musical, talented, and young. :-P Man, how pathetic am I?
I bet no one reads this haha. And that's not the point of me writing in this, but still... kinda lonely. I guess I could put a link to this on my FaceBook or my AIM thing. But then I'm kinda uncomfortable with putting my thoughts and feelings out there to people I know. Makes me feel vunerable. But I guess that's the price I pay for putting this on the internet haha. BLAH.
By the way, Apocalypse Now is a great effing movie. Watch it now. But not the extended version. 202 minutes. There are scenes in it that were cut out for a reason. But the rest of it is awesome. PCU with Jeremy Piven is good too. But let's be honest, anything with Jeremy Piven is good.
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